Loving others as well as feeling gratitude and appreciation for others is essential to make anyone's life happier. Seeing others happy, because you made them happy certainly is a great reward for yourself too, but it is difficult to love another person if you do not love yourself or if you are unhappy with yourself. Now, I am not saying that you should be so in love with yourself that all you do is obsess with yourself and believe you are perfect, because it is in human nature to always want to grow and become better.
I believe that in this world you have your mind, your body, and your spirit. Your mind, which includes your personality, attitude, and decisions, can come and go throughout your life. You start life as a baby who's mind only is starting to shape and grow and end life in old age with oftentimes a withered or broken mind. The same goes for your body. It is a piece of you that you need to help get through this life, but it will fade one day too. It is a sad, but real, thought. Your spirit/soul however, goes on past this life and is always with you. Your spirit, like matter, can neither be created nor destroyed, yet it can be shaped and changed. I believe that your spirit consists of your strongest values and your true purpose. Your spirit is the energy that is carried with all things, and it is in a constant motion.
HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF:
I think that the best way to start loving and appreciating yourself, so you can in turn share that love with others, is by understanding yourself. Look at everything about you and pay attention to yourself more. For example, look at your family history. Were you similar to your parents or grandparents? Do you share a culture with them? What else do you like/dislike that you got form your family's influence? If you cannot look at your family history, try looking at your birthday. Horoscopes (which I understand some are skeptical to) may help explain why you are the way you are. Maybe you are indecisive and find it hard to start conflicts with people, then you might discover that those attributes enlign perfectly with the Libra Horoscope. Perhaps you know your blood type and can see how people with that same blood type have similar personalities. Ask yourself why do you feel this way? or why do you say those things? All of these things help you to better understand why you are the way you are, and they can be very enlightening.
There is a simple exercise you can do that might help explain yourself to others and to yourself.
Try this:
Before you enter a room, or start a conversation, just stop for one second. Take a deep breath. Relax. Then enter with the intention you want to make. Do you intend to go into this conversation with an open and compassionate heart, or an intent to help and heal someone? Take a moment and carry this intention with you into the room. It is simple, but easy to forget how focusing on something makes a big difference. This intention can help connect you to others and maybe your true self too.
An other way to better understand yourself is by observing yourself. Even something as simple as writing a few notes about how you feel at the end and start of a day (before bed and when you wake) can be very helpful. Maybe you realize you are not getting enough sleep so you change your habits to go to bed 15 minutes earlier each night until you can wake up on time to start the day and you wake up feeling refreshed. Little things like noticing that your stomach gets upset after you eat lots of milk or ice cream for example may help you realize that perhaps you don't have many lactase enzymes and you should eat smaller amounts of dairy that contains the lactose sugar.
One silly sounding observation can be life changing and crucial to self-love. Notice what you pay attention to and put your intention into, because those things are often what you value the most in life. Maybe you find that your job or a subject in school is hard to focus on, but when it comes to fishing or sports for example, you seem to lose track of time and are very content and happy. Those things are extremely important to you and speak highly on your value system. A tip to succeed in something is to align it with your values, so in this example you might start a job that involves fishing or go to school and get good grades so you can stay on your favorite sport team. Connecting your values to your every day life, makes everything much more enjoyable.
Another important part of loving yourself is making time for just yourself. This means doing things that make you happy (you can see my "Happy Hobbies" tab for some of the silly things that make me happy). Creating that time and space for just yourself to relax and unwind is just as important as making sure you sleep and eat properly. So make the time. Even if you only have five minutes in the morning, do something for yourself: breathe, meditate, do some gentle stretches or yoga, make a calming tea, do a crossword puzzle. Whatever it is just make time for yourself. Start with just a few minutes each day. Ideally, a day should be balanced with half working and half playing, but start small and try to find the balance that works best for your life right now.
Truly loving and accepting yourself is an ongoing relationship. Do not expect you to suddenly feel full of love. You need to maintain this relationship with yourself. Pay attention to yourself and appreciate how hard your body works for you and how clever your brain can be. Express yourself as often as you can through any means possible. Some people find meaning by reading other's experiences, while you might find it by creating something of your own or listening to music. The possibilities for self expression are endless and vital to being truly happy. It might be difficult at first to rebuild that connection with your body and find what helps you express yourself the best, but again just notice what you are most excited about and where your attention is focused. Those values are key.
I was once told that as a child everyone has these big dreams of who they want to become. Many times, the child goes through various phases and wants to be all sorts of different things, but there is usually one dream that holds on to that individual. It almost resonates with your soul and calls to you. That is when you know your purpose in life. Children are more sensitive to their surroundings and feelings. They understand their true soul values before their parent's values or society's are forced upon them. As the child grows up, society and other people enforce their beliefs on the child. "You can't be a space man!" Negative thoughts and doubts soon cloud their true purpose. Soon their dream is hidden from view. As teenagers, many people forget their hidden childhood dream and believe it to be unrealistic, but it is always still there. You just need to reconnect to it and believe in your abilities; you can do anything you set your mind to.
One thing to keep in mind is that this is a life time process. Being healthy and loving yourself takes a whole lifetime of baby steps, and the same thing for one person does not always work for another. It is something to strive towards and discover for yourself. It is not simply going to happen overnight, and it is not something you can simply be done with at some point. Love and health is a journey, not a destination. So enjoy the road.
I believe that in this world you have your mind, your body, and your spirit. Your mind, which includes your personality, attitude, and decisions, can come and go throughout your life. You start life as a baby who's mind only is starting to shape and grow and end life in old age with oftentimes a withered or broken mind. The same goes for your body. It is a piece of you that you need to help get through this life, but it will fade one day too. It is a sad, but real, thought. Your spirit/soul however, goes on past this life and is always with you. Your spirit, like matter, can neither be created nor destroyed, yet it can be shaped and changed. I believe that your spirit consists of your strongest values and your true purpose. Your spirit is the energy that is carried with all things, and it is in a constant motion.
HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF:
I think that the best way to start loving and appreciating yourself, so you can in turn share that love with others, is by understanding yourself. Look at everything about you and pay attention to yourself more. For example, look at your family history. Were you similar to your parents or grandparents? Do you share a culture with them? What else do you like/dislike that you got form your family's influence? If you cannot look at your family history, try looking at your birthday. Horoscopes (which I understand some are skeptical to) may help explain why you are the way you are. Maybe you are indecisive and find it hard to start conflicts with people, then you might discover that those attributes enlign perfectly with the Libra Horoscope. Perhaps you know your blood type and can see how people with that same blood type have similar personalities. Ask yourself why do you feel this way? or why do you say those things? All of these things help you to better understand why you are the way you are, and they can be very enlightening.
There is a simple exercise you can do that might help explain yourself to others and to yourself.
Try this:
Before you enter a room, or start a conversation, just stop for one second. Take a deep breath. Relax. Then enter with the intention you want to make. Do you intend to go into this conversation with an open and compassionate heart, or an intent to help and heal someone? Take a moment and carry this intention with you into the room. It is simple, but easy to forget how focusing on something makes a big difference. This intention can help connect you to others and maybe your true self too.
An other way to better understand yourself is by observing yourself. Even something as simple as writing a few notes about how you feel at the end and start of a day (before bed and when you wake) can be very helpful. Maybe you realize you are not getting enough sleep so you change your habits to go to bed 15 minutes earlier each night until you can wake up on time to start the day and you wake up feeling refreshed. Little things like noticing that your stomach gets upset after you eat lots of milk or ice cream for example may help you realize that perhaps you don't have many lactase enzymes and you should eat smaller amounts of dairy that contains the lactose sugar.
One silly sounding observation can be life changing and crucial to self-love. Notice what you pay attention to and put your intention into, because those things are often what you value the most in life. Maybe you find that your job or a subject in school is hard to focus on, but when it comes to fishing or sports for example, you seem to lose track of time and are very content and happy. Those things are extremely important to you and speak highly on your value system. A tip to succeed in something is to align it with your values, so in this example you might start a job that involves fishing or go to school and get good grades so you can stay on your favorite sport team. Connecting your values to your every day life, makes everything much more enjoyable.
Another important part of loving yourself is making time for just yourself. This means doing things that make you happy (you can see my "Happy Hobbies" tab for some of the silly things that make me happy). Creating that time and space for just yourself to relax and unwind is just as important as making sure you sleep and eat properly. So make the time. Even if you only have five minutes in the morning, do something for yourself: breathe, meditate, do some gentle stretches or yoga, make a calming tea, do a crossword puzzle. Whatever it is just make time for yourself. Start with just a few minutes each day. Ideally, a day should be balanced with half working and half playing, but start small and try to find the balance that works best for your life right now.
Truly loving and accepting yourself is an ongoing relationship. Do not expect you to suddenly feel full of love. You need to maintain this relationship with yourself. Pay attention to yourself and appreciate how hard your body works for you and how clever your brain can be. Express yourself as often as you can through any means possible. Some people find meaning by reading other's experiences, while you might find it by creating something of your own or listening to music. The possibilities for self expression are endless and vital to being truly happy. It might be difficult at first to rebuild that connection with your body and find what helps you express yourself the best, but again just notice what you are most excited about and where your attention is focused. Those values are key.
I was once told that as a child everyone has these big dreams of who they want to become. Many times, the child goes through various phases and wants to be all sorts of different things, but there is usually one dream that holds on to that individual. It almost resonates with your soul and calls to you. That is when you know your purpose in life. Children are more sensitive to their surroundings and feelings. They understand their true soul values before their parent's values or society's are forced upon them. As the child grows up, society and other people enforce their beliefs on the child. "You can't be a space man!" Negative thoughts and doubts soon cloud their true purpose. Soon their dream is hidden from view. As teenagers, many people forget their hidden childhood dream and believe it to be unrealistic, but it is always still there. You just need to reconnect to it and believe in your abilities; you can do anything you set your mind to.
One thing to keep in mind is that this is a life time process. Being healthy and loving yourself takes a whole lifetime of baby steps, and the same thing for one person does not always work for another. It is something to strive towards and discover for yourself. It is not simply going to happen overnight, and it is not something you can simply be done with at some point. Love and health is a journey, not a destination. So enjoy the road.